I tried to kill myself today and would have succeeded if it wasn’t for rescuing me.

It started out as cutting on my wrist and before I knew it, I slashed veins and blood was squirting everywhere. I ran to the bathtub because I didn’t want anyone to have to scrub my blood up and just let the blood pour out of me and go down the drain.

Jess showed up. It freaked her out, she was crying. I begged her not to call anyone. She didn’t. But she wouldn’t let me keep bleeding. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it tightly around my forearm until the bleeding stopped. Then she wrapped it up in tape, to keep the slashes from opening back up. Since I used a razor blade they were clean cuts for the most part.

She was supposed to be at . I knew she needed the and I didn’t want her to get fired so after the bleeding stopped and my urge to die had passed I made her go to work.

A few hours later I was still thinking about how stupid I was. I knew I had to get help. I called COPES. I told them I was fine now, so they couldn’t make me go to the hospital against my will but they did make me an appointment with a shrink for December 21st.