Well, today was my grandparents’ 50th anniversary! I can’t believe they’ve been together so long. I’m happy for them. I know they drive each other crazy, but I also know that they each other very deeply.

I don’t think I could ever spend 50 years with the same person. The longest I’ve ever been with someone was a yr and a half and that lasted so long because it was a long distance relationship. The longest I had ever actually been with someone that I saw constantly (without breaking up at least once) was this last time and I was together. That lasted 7 months.

I get bored in relationships and end up pushing the guys away. Some are harder to push away than others. Brian is that way. He keeps coming back for more lol. We’ve been doing this on and off thing since 1997. I always say this time is the last time, if we can’t make it then I won’t ever get back with him. Then some time will pass and I’ll be damned if we’re not right back together. I almost fell in love with him last time. I don’t want to do that again. One of the reasons I always took him back was because I was certain I couldn’t fall in love with him. If we got back together again I’m not sure I could stop myself. I don’t want that. I need more out of a relationship than I think he is capable of giving. We are soooo not compatible on too many different levels. So I say this now (and cross my fingers that it doesn’t come back to bite me on the ass) that the long chapters of Brian and I are finally permanently closed.

Anyways, I totally went off subject. I do that alot when I’m writing. Oh well.

When I went to work I heard that Brian (the guy from Saturday night, not Brian) was spreading rumors about what we did to the other employees and regulars… He totally lied. He wishes we would have done half the things he said we did. Luckily, they believed my version of it. I swear when he comes back in I’m gonna kick his ass. The fucker. I don’t know if I’m more pissed because he lied or because he was bragging. If anything he should be ashamed of himself for letting it go as far as it did. He knew I was shitfaced and wouldn’t have done anything with him if I was sober…

Oh well. That’s men for ya. Assholes lol.

On this day..