Personality and Love Report


Personality Type : the Observer
You strive to find inner peace in a world that’s anything but peaceful. You were born with a quiet, gentle, and cautious nature that has always set you apart. Being different and somewhat of an outsider, you’ve become selective about what you do and say. You typically stand back and observe people and situations, then decide how you want to contribute. While others on a team are talking, arguing, and often making impulsive decisions, you can see the underlying issues and make objective recommendations. Although there are times in your job and personal life when you should assert yourself more, people are relieved to find someone like you who doesn’t pick fights or create drama. You don’t spend your life running around from one social event to the next. You prefer quiet evenings with your close circle of and friends. Since you’re shy and very modest, it can take a while to get to know you and see the real you. You need time alone every day to recharge mentally and emotionally. Enjoying your own company and being comfortable with solitude is considered a sign of maturity and good mental . You’re cautious by nature and keep an eye out for trouble. You have a natural intellectual curiosity and to explore new facts and ideas. You’re overly modest at times and tend to sell yourself short. You’re very independent and proud of your self-reliance. You are neat, you plan ahead, and you have high standards. You are quiet, polite, tough minded, stubborn, guarded and like solitude.

Love Style: Passionate
You have the freedom to love intensely and completely—focusing only on the here and now. You have a great capacity to love. In fact, you may have several great loves in your lifetime. When you connect with someone it’s immediate, intense, and on multiple levels— mental, emotional, spiritual, and sexual. You realize that sometimes love can be brief and other times lifelong. So, you try to enjoy love, avoid the urge to control it, and just see where it takes you. Physical chemistry is a key part of the initial spark for you. Although people love to talk about , the truth is that most people are afraid of their wild side. You aren’t. You your instincts and know exactly who you find attractive and what turns you on. No matter how nice a man may be, if there’s no passion in your first kiss, it’s probably not going to out.

Physical passion may become less crucial and commitment may become more important over time. However, for now your style of loving has these common features:

You’re looking for a very close, intimate relationship. You want to share every aspect of your life with him and not hold anything back. This means knowing about each other’s pasts, including the unflattering parts. Most importantly, though, you should be very open and totally honest about your life now. If you love him, you’ll want to know about his hopes and dreams, as well as his fears and insecurities. You’re most likely to fall in love with a man who’s independent by nature. He won’t expect to merge his life with yours. Keeping separate friends, for example, will just give you more to talk about when you’re together. Like the song says, “If you want to know if he loves you so, it’s in his kiss.” You want passionate kisses and won’t settle for anything less. The two of you will probably be instantly attracted to each other. You’re not a purist who thinks love is a saintly connection between “friends.” You have plenty of friends. You want a lover! When you’re in love, you’ll eventually want to make a commitment to each other. Neither partner should be kept waiting indefinitely. Yet at the same time, rushing into a commitment only adds to the pressure of forming a relationship. When you’re ready to commit, both partners will know it and be happy about it. Observers are not usually as passionate about love as u are. You tend to be pragmatic about your decisions, and romance is rarely practical. You also like to be in charge of your life, so the idea of love taking it over makes you feel uneasy, but you still keep open the possibility that something magical will come into your life, even if only for a short time.

You often either overprotect or underprotect yourself. Can you find a balance between over and under-protecting yourself? You may overprotect by staying in, refusing invitations, or not pursuing your interests, even though you want to and suspect you could if you just tried. It’s important to take some risks, but to do so in a way that you’ll have a good or neutral experience. You need to see that your negative expectations are holding you back. In other cases, you may under-protect yourself by staying too busy, rarely spending time alone, or never turning down an invitation. To stop overdoing it, you have to set some clear rules to live by, such as scheduling mandatory time each day to be by yourself, relax, and recharge your emotions.

Other obstacles you may wish to tackle:
It’s hard for you to trust other people completely. It’s even harder for you to let yourself depend on them. Gradually open up and let yourself rely on other people. You may have to push yourself beyond what you’re comfortable with to let your life be truly interconnected with other people. Getting close to other people is difficult. People are wary about letting others into their lives. You’re especially sensitive to the walls people put up around themselves. You worry that they don’t really love you or that they will leave you. The key is taking its slowly and trying to sort out when your worries are grounded and when you’re simply assuming the worst.

You’re easily embarrassed in public. At social events, you feel like a big spotlight is pointing down at you and everyone is watching. The key is realizing that this perception is not a reality. Most of the time, no one is watching, and no one cares what you say or do. You have to consciously remind yourself that you have nothing to be ashamed of and focus on the positive reactions you receive from other people.

Your Top 10 Challenges
Stay too busy
Seek approval too much
Not assertive enough
Focus too much on others
Perfectionist
Overly sensitive to criticism
Workaholic
Overly demanding
Easily embarrassed in public
Hard to trust people

Although it’s not your style to say, “I love you,” all the time, try to say it at least once every day, before someone else says it to you.
You probably want more reassurance that your partner loves you than u get. Constantly asking for it (”Do u still love me?”) can make things worse. Decide if you can trust your partner and then believe what he tells you.

Although you like to stick to your routine, occasionally you need to “shake things up” and do something spontaneous and with your partner.

You need time by yourself every day to “recharge,” especially after lots of social contact. Let your partner know why you need this time and that it’s so you can be in a better mood to enjoy his company afterwards.

Finding a compatible partner is one of the biggest challenges in life. You need a man who is similar enough to understand you, but different enough to keep things interesting.

Observers are usually most comfortable with men who are Equalizers.
He has the most balanced and well rounded of the personality types. I.E., he may have big dreams and ambitions, but when he needs to, he can make realistic, practical decisions. He instinctively adjusts to fit the needs of any situation.

The qualities you found most appealing fit the Idealist personality type. Observers are often drawn to these insightful and visionary men.

You connect with Idealists because you’re drawn to his energy, kindhearted nature and charisma. Together you’ll be a dynamic and exciting pair. He’s great at motivating and energizing you to be your best. His cheerful and social nature is contagious. His life mission is making the world a better place. He cares about big ideas and big issues. Still, his most important mission will be caring for and supporting you. In many ways, he’s the ideal friend and coworker who inspires you to pursue your dreams. In return, you help balance and expand his world as well. He feels calm and safe when he’s with you. He admires your self-reliance and independence. You have an outsider mystique that he finds intriguing.

Idealist and Observer personalities often make good matches. Still, there are enough differences to keep things interesting. He’s always in a hurry. Sometimes it may feel like you have to compete for his attention. His habit of beating around the bush rather than saying something directly can be frustrating. He’s very passionate about his work. So, when he’s having problems at work, he’ll want to talk about them endlessly. He’ll want to talk about his ideas and long after you’re ready to change the subject.

To you, intelligence is sexy, and you want to find a man who’ll be equally turned on by your intellect.
You’re attracted to men who, like you, don’t let what other people think change who they are and what they do. You’re drawn to very ambitious men. Although you shy away from competition, you’ve always been drawn to real go-getters. Although you’ve never been especially artistic, you find men who are artists or creative in some way very attractive.

Sometimes a personality type we wouldn’t normally consider can make for the happiest relationship. The Equalizer is a little different than the type you would typically notice, but here’s why we suggest you give Equalizers a chance: You’ll like that he’s someone you can trust and depend on. You’ll admire his ability to stay organized and reliable without being overly rigid or stuck in routines. You’ll be impressed by how he can bridge different types of people. With the Equalizer you may also avoid some of the clashes and bad dynamics that can emerge with the Idealist types.

Idealists can spend too much time with their heads in the clouds, while Equalizers live in the here andnow, like you. An Equalizer will understand your need for stability, more so than an Idealist. Equalizers like to take life as it comes, while Idealists tend to plan and analyze more than they actually experience.

As you already know, nothing’s perfect. You’ll still encounter some challenges with Equalizers because: He’s stable, which can sometimes mean boring. Since both of you are pretty easygoing, it’s possible that neither of you will take the initiative to move the relationship forward. He can be unconventional at times.

To you, good sex is essential to building a lasting relationship.

As you’ve probably figured out already, you like sex! You have a higher sex drive than most and need to be with a man who has a high sex drive too. A great sex life isn’t everything, but it goes a long way to maintaining an intimate (and fun!) connection with your partner. You need a man who will spend his nights pulling you close, rather than pushing you away. You need a man who enjoys the sexual basics, and does them well! You’re not as adventurous as some, so your partner should enjoy the intimacy more than a particular act.

Other things to watch for: You need a partner who is patient about sex and won’t create pressure to move too quickly. Your high expectations for what sex is supposed to be like can put too much pressure on you and your partner. This sexual perfectionism can cause you to overreact if your chemistry is occasionally off. You may want to challenge some of your assumptions about how sex is supposed to be, and instead learn to go with the flow. Be honest and open about what you like sexually. Obviously, the timing has to be right. Still, couples can save a lot of frustration if they talk about what they want and need sexually from the start, rather than expecting their partners to read their minds. Your favorite personality type, Idealist, approaches sex with creativity and intense connection. The personality type we recommend, Equalizer, approaches sex as just one of many ways to connect and bond. Sex can be intimate or just fun, depending on the person and type of connection.

You’re not attracting the type of men you say you prefer. Personalities are like magnets. They draw some personality types close and push others away. Your inner magnet appears to be drawing men who are very different from the types of men you like. Here’s what we noticed about who you’re attracting: As you hoped, you’re attracting men who are in touch with their emotions. You were indifferent to many of your ex-partner’s strongest traits. Contrary to what you want, you’re attracting men who aren’t especially intelligent or imaginative.

The Ex you described appears to have been a Traditionalist. He strived to bring order to the world with his practical skills, high standards, and common sense. Loyal and trustworthy, he was a source of strength and stability to everyone. He was a hard worker, who would do anything to help and support his family and friends. You seem to be attracting men who are either missing qualities you like or have qualities you really dislike. Compatibility is as much about finding a man whose personality quirks you can tolerate, as it is about finding a man with qualities you find enthralling and sexy. Ruling out from the start men who eventually are going to drive you crazy anyway, can save everyone a lot of heartache. So, what personality characteristics can you simply not put up with?

Here’s what appear to be your hot buttons: You’re not attracted to men who are stubborn or difficult to deal with. A man who is overly analytic and always tries to be objective would drive you nuts. A man who lacked imagination and creativity would bore you to . Your personality type is actually fairly easy to get along with, as long as you’re not terribly mismatched. Even if a man unfortunately sails into your hot button zone, you’re usually able to point it out calmly without attacking him.

The biggest challenge for you is knowing which of his habits you can try to influence and which you’ll have to accept. The truth is most quirks aren’t going to go away. As a rule, if a habit has gone on for a long time and there’s little variation in how it’s done, it’s going to be hard or impossible to break. Plus, imagine if he asked you to change one of your beloved quirks in exchange! I know it’s hard to believe, but sometimes you can be irritating, too. It’s usually our most extreme personality traits that people react most strongly to, both positively and negatively. Here are a few possible button-pushing traits and how men might react: Men who are somewhat emotional would see you as being too rational. Some men would find your interests and intellect intimidating. Some men prefer their emotions nice and flat, rather than the rich emotions you experience. You may seem overly confident and even cocky to some men, who are insecure and lack confidence.

You need to find a less critical and neglectful partner. All serious relationships bring a mixture of good stuff (such as caring, support, and acceptance) and bad stuff (such as criticism, neglect, and manipulation). When you looked back on your last relationship, you recalled giving more good stuff than he did, while he gave more of the bad stuff. Specifically, you often felt put down or criticized by your Ex. It’s only natural that your partner would complain or get irritated with you sometimes. However, your Ex appears to have brought an added level of blame and to his complaints. In what he said, or how he said it, he implied that there was something wrong with you as a person. It’s easier for a couple to weather bad stuff when they also share a lot of good exchanges.

You gave a lot to your partner, for example, in the form of practical help and support. You tried to make his life easier. Love to you obviously means doing whatever you can to make your partner happy. Old patterns can easily repeat themselves. Our brains are wired to seek out and create familiar situations. That’s why we often find ourselves having the same types of exchanges over and over again with each new partner. Familiarity is comfortable, and our minds would rather be comfortable than happy. Every time you repeat a relationship pattern, it becomes deeper ingrained and harder to break. To avoid being in another relationship where your partner is too critical or neglectful, watch for early signs of these behaviors. Most men are on their best behavior during the first several dates. So, if he’s critical or cold toward you (or someone else, like a waiter) then, imagine how he’ll be when he’s not consciously trying to make a good impression! You can choose to either weed him out now, or at least be up-front with him about the pattern you’re trying to break. The only way to stop repeating past patterns is to recognize what you’re doing to create them.

Here are three steps you can take to break the cycle: Toughen up your skin and find a kind man who’ll massage it. Being deeply aware of your own emotions has its advantages and disadvantages when it comes to romance. You’re likely to feel the joy of love deeply, but also experience equally intensely the pain and loss that often come with romance. There’s something to be said for being “tough-skinned” while you’re , and also later when you’re in a relationship. Human beings can do and say insensitive things on a routine basis. If you’re prone to take things personally, there’ll always be plenty of things to be upset about. The same behavior with an emotionally clueless person might simply slip by. Ideally, try to find a man who’s extremely kind and considerate by nature, and then practice being more tough-skinned and don’t sweat the emotional small stuff. Embrace the joys of neurotic lovers. There’s something appealing about the vulnerability and complexity of “neurotic” men. You can handle and appreciate his emotional depth, as long as he doesn’t turn his emotionality on you. Sometimes you can be an easy target to blame for his confusion and unhappiness. Certainly, life will be easier if you avoid these men altogether. Life could also get pretty boring without him. If you choose to be in a relationship with a neurotic man, it’s crucial that the two of you set realistic expectations. He can’t expect you to solve all of his problems, and you can’t expect him to be calm and upbeat all the time. You also have to make rules for how he can act toward you. The blaming and criticism of each other has to end. You’re his ally and supporter, not his enemy. Unfortunately, he may need to be reminded of that fairly often.

Eat less forbidden fruit. Your ongoing quest for excitement and danger will bring you lots of fun and new experiences, but it could also pull you into tumultuous relationships. The same qualities that make the “bad boy” exciting to date, like his rebellious intensity, can also make him difficult to live with long-term. Try focusing your thrill-seeking energy more on recreational activities and less on romance. You’re empathic and supportive for your loved ones, but you need to work on managing stressful situations. Being able to read what other people are feeling can sometimes create problems. You’ve always been aware of the gap between what people say and what they really feel. You notice the subtle emotions in people’s eyes, posture, and facial expressions and often trust nonverbal communication over what people say with words. You’ve put your skills to good use in being a better friend, partner, and leader. However, this level of sensitivity can also be a burden. With so much emotional information pouring in, it’s easy to over-analyze or misinterpret what’s going on. That’s why it’s key to check out your assumptions and ask people directly what they’re really feeling.

You have good empathy skills. You genuinely try to understand what your loved ones are feeling and why they feel that way. At times, you actually feel their pain, , or excitement. You’re not always as empathic as you’d like, especially if you’re tired or preoccupied with your own worries. Still, your empathy for others has made you a better friend and confidante and motivated you to reach out to people who are suffering.

You always try to be as supportive as possible. You realize people cope with problems differently and need different types of support, so u do your best to understand where they are emotionally and what they need at that moment. Despite your good intentions, at times you may give advice when they just want you to listen; you may cut a friend off because you’re too busy and distracted with your own problems. Still, unlike some people who lack basic support skills, you have good EQ skills and simply need the time and focus to use them. Therefore you may have to postpone connecting with a friend who needs your support until you can relax and put your own problems aside.

Stress can wear you down emotionally and physically. You try to avoid as much as possible, but when it catches up with you, it can wear you down. You have to be especially careful in how you deal with anger and frustration. At your best, anger can motivate you to be honest and stand up for your rights. However, when you get really frustrated, you can say and do things in anger that only make the situation worse. Instead, you should try to channel your energy into getting around the obstacle that’s making you angry.

To make a good first impression on a date (or dazzle your current partner), convey a confident, positive, and open stance with your body language. The words we say are often less important than how we say them. In fact, our body language and the tone of our voice account for over 90% of the message that comes across.

You appear to be very aware of your own thoughts and emotions. You’re equally aware of what other people are thinking and feeling. These are great skills to bring into a relationship. After all, women usually do a lot of the emotion work in a relationship. Hopefully, it won’t be as one-sided in your relationship. Ideally, you’ll find a man who’ll be as tuned-in to your needs as you’ll be tuned-in to his.

More likely, you’ll find a partner who’s less skilled than you at reading his own emotions, your emotions, or both. You boost your partner’s self-esteem. You compliment him and point out his positive qualities, especially when he’s feeling down or uncertain. You convey caring and emotional support. You send comforting and caring messages, especially when your partner is stressed out.
You’re effective at communicating your feelings. You’re skilled at putting words to your deepest feelings.

No one’s perfect. You may give in too quickly. Because you don’t like conflict and want to keep people happy, you may give in when it would be better to stick with the conversation. You come across a little too reserved and serious at times. People may not realize that you’re simply being professional or thoughtful and may assume that you’re not enjoying the conversation. You avoid conflicts as much as possible, but then draw on a mixture of assertive and compromising skills when you need to. At your best, you try to deal with conflicts as quickly as possible and move on. You balance efforts to be assertive with looking for a compromise and short-term solution. You need to build your skills at handling conflict. You can see things from your partner’s point of view. Great communicators imagine what they would think and believe if they were their partner. You’re not overly assertive or domineering. No one feels pressured or preached at when you argue your points.

On the other hand, you’re prone to take criticism personally. It’s hard for you to take feedback without feeling hurt. You don’t connect socially with people as a means of overcoming conflicts. Although it’s not your style, a lunch or coffee with someone can often smooth over disagreements or bad feelings. You should try using humor to ease tension and prevent conflict. It’s often easier to laugh off a remark than take it personally.

Everyone comes with some emotional baggage from earlier relationships. You appear to be carrying the average amount of baggage for a woman your age. You’re not as innocent and optimistic as you once were, but you haven’t given up on love either. Although you’ve managed to avoid becoming jaded, you still bring some concerns into a new relationship: You’ve done the best you could to have some closure about your last relationship and put the past behind you. You’ve tried to forgive ur Ex and let go of any lingering resentment. If you had a chance to do it over again, you’d do some things differently. But you’re not letting weigh you down. Your last relationship shook your confidence, but you’re still hopeful about finding love. It may take you a long time to establish stability in a relationship. Before you dive into another relationship, take some time to think about what worked and what didn’t work in your last one.