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Jan
2
New Years Ramblings
Filed Under Thoughts | Leave a Comment
Here is my diary entry from last night (early this morning) I was messed up when I wrote it, but it still makes sense.
I sit here wondering exactly what I want to do with my life. Not what I “should” do or “need” to do. I’m sick of living my life as “everyone” expects me to. I’m sick to death of it. Where has it gotten me?
It’s New Years Day 2:14am: a time for a new beginning. However cheesy it may sound, “today is the first day of the rest of my life.” This is the opportunity to start everything over. I may not be able to turn back the clock and fix my mistakes or better yet my errors, but I can learn from them and break this vicious cycle my life has become.
It is time to face my past, deal with it, accept it and let it go. The lesson I must learn at this point of my life is to just fucking LET GO! This is the day I take back my life. What have I got to lose? Misery? That’s all I have left… It may seem strange, but I will miss it. It has been one of the few constants in my life. I will have to overcome my fears of change and intimacy. I will break this cycle. My happiness is in my hands and my hands ONLY.
I can do it! I will do it… there is no other choice.
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