Formula for Baby Lucas

My wallet and WIC folder with 4 months worth of vouchers was stolen yesterday. The monetary value of the vouchers stolen is about $1000 and WIC will not replace them. My husband was laid off last month and is having trouble finding a job in his industry because the decline in oil prices. We cannot afford formula for this week (because all of our money was in my wallet) much less for the next 4 months.

I’m raising money for Formula for Baby Lucas. Click to Donate:

thanks for your help!


Clearing the Air

I’m sick of hearing about all this Facebook smear campaign bullshit Shawna is running against me, so I’m going to clear the air once and for all. After this, I don’t want to know what Shawna and whoever are doing or what they are saying, writing, or posting about me. I don’t care. I appreciate the concern for my reputation or feelings but I don’t want the negativity in my life. I have no desire for revenge or retaliation. Let them hate if they must.

Among of sea of egregious lies spread by Shawna and her flying monkeys, one of the least horrendous things I’ve been accused of is having fake Facebook profiles. I don’t have a single fake profile. I do, however, have multiple profiles. The reason for my multiple profiles has nothing whatsoever to do with cyber stalking anyone. In fact, I have Shawna, her fake profile, and all her friends and relatives that I know about blocked on my profiles not vice versa and I have plenty of proof.

Back in August 2011, when I started this page, Facebook required a profile to be linked to pages, so I created an alternate profile under the pseudonym BipolarChick Monroe. I didn’t want the page linked to my main profile because I didn’t want employers, coworkers, and such to know the intimate details of my history that I would therapeutically write about on my blog. It was before Facebook offered privacy lists or allowed you to hide the page’s owner. By the time Facebook offered those features, I already had long-established the other profile. Last year I changed the profile name to BipolarChick Steele. Steele is my maiden name. Then last week, I chose to change the profile name to my full maiden name, Jennifer Steele, because I am no longer afraid of what people who know me in real life know about my past.


cool daddy-o

My Bucket List

After so many of my loved ones passing away over the past 2 1/2 years I updated the Bucket List I started when Pawpa was sick. A lot of the things I want to do before I die involve traveling. I hope to have the money to travel to all the places I want to go.



2 Year Anniversary of Pawpa’s Passing

I still think of Pawpa at least a few times a day, especially this past week. I miss him something fierce. I regret not being there for him as much as I should have. I wonder what advice he would have to offer about the state of my life. I ask myself what Pawpa would want me to do.

I haven’t been to his gravesite since his burial. I’m ashamed, but I just haven’t been able to force myself to go. It would keep me from continuously pretending that Pawpa is still alive but away somewhere.



Another Hiatus Over.

I figured it’s time to dust off the old blog and start writing again. The past 2-ish years have been emotionally exhausting. I’ve kept most of my feelings bottled up and kept my dark thoughts secret. I started my own home business. I made amends with Shawna and began rebuilding our friendship. My brother accepted me again. I lost and regained friendships. I made new friends. I lost 70lbs. I fell in love. I was loved. I sabotaged my relationship. My heart was shit on. The loss of my relationship with Pandabear was the worst lost since my beloved Pawpa’s death.  


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